Dating a Gen Z? Here’s How Money Changes Everything

Men are always advised to marry younger, not mandatory, but preferable. At least, that’s what the older generation tells us. It’s a trap, I always joke, especially when I think about the challenges people in relationships face. Sure, age gaps can add excitement and fresh perspectives, but they also come with their fair share of hurdles.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, that’s a given. But when millennials date the free-spirited Gen Zs, “ups and downs” feels like an understatement. The generational gap; mother to the differing values and behaviours of these two generations can turn even the smallest disagreements into full-blown debates or arguments. Yet, nothing sparks debate/argument faster than money.

Money, oh, the uninvited guest at every relationship’s dinner table. It’s supposed to sit quietly in the corner while love takes center stage. But for millennials dating Gen Zs, money doesn’t just show up; it flips the table over, spills the wine, and then demands dessert. The generational gap, shaped by contrasting upbringings, world events, and financial philosophies, makes navigating money matters feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded.

I say this as a millennial who’s five years older than my Gen Z girlfriend. I thought I was the resilient one, the spreadsheet-wielding, savings-obsessed survivor of the 2008 financial crisis, coupled with 2007-2008 post election violence that happened in my motherland. But dating a Gen Z has taught me that resilience is nothing compared to her TikTok-fueled financial audacity.

Generational Timeline: Birth Years and Labels

This isn’t just a story about love or money. It’s about how millennials and Gen Zs approach life, and how those differences play out in the messiest of arenas: romantic relationships.

So, what’s the deal with money and millennial-Gen Z relationships? Let’s unpack it.

Millennials and Gen Zs: A Financial Culture Clash

Millennials and Gen Zs aren’t just separated by a few years. We’re divided by how we view money itself.

For millennials, money carries the scars of a tough upbringing. We came of age during economic instability, student loan crises, and the rise of precarious job markets. Savings became our shield, and debt was the monster under the bed. For many of us, financial stability isn’t just a goal; it’s a survival instinct.

Gen Zs, on the other hand, grew up in the gig economy. Their financial world revolves around quick wins, side hustles, trendy investments, and buy-now-pay-later schemes. For them, debt isn’t a ball and chain; it’s a stepping stone to experiences. Why save for a rainy day when you can spend on the latest iPhone today?

These different philosophies collide spectacularly in relationships, where money decisions become deeply personal.

The Equality Warriors with a Financial Caveat

Then there’s the micro group within Gen Z that I like to call Equality Warriors with a Financial Caveat. This group champions inclusivity and balance—until the topic of money enters the chat.

“We’re 50/50,” they’ll declare with passion. “I’m your equal in everything we do. If you can stay out past 10, so can I. If you can have female friends, don’t bat an eye when I hang out with my guy friends.”

Fair enough, right? But bring up the idea of splitting finances equally, and suddenly, the script flips. “Men are supposed to provide,” they’ll argue. “I want to be treated like a queen. I can’t date a man who doesn’t take care of me.”

The double standards are as clear as day. Equality, it seems, stops at the wallet.

Budgeting: Spreadsheets vs. Intuition

Take budgeting, for instance. For me, spreadsheets are gospel. Every shilling is accounted for, every expense meticulously tracked. My girlfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t need a spreadsheet, she’s got her instincts. “I know my limits,” she says, scrolling through her banking app.

The problem? Her “limits” tend to shift. A flash sale here, a random subscription there, and suddenly her account balance looks more like a rollercoaster than a financial plan. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there, clutching my spreadsheet, wondering how I ended up dating someone who treats budgeting like a suggestion.

Who Pays for What?

And then there’s the age-old question of who picks up the check. Growing up, I was taught that the guy pays, always. It was a sign of respect, of chivalry. But Gen Z isn’t playing by those rules.

My girlfriend is all about equality, which sounds great in theory. In practice, it means splitting everything right down to the last shilling. We once argued over who owed Sh348.50 after a shared pizza because, apparently, I ate more slices.

This “equal” approach often feels more like a transactional nightmare. And yet, I understand where she’s coming from. For Gen Zs, financial independence is non-negotiable. Splitting the bill isn’t just about money; it’s about autonomy.

The Future: Planning vs. Living in the Moment

The real cracks in our financial dynamic appear when we talk about the future. As a millennial, I’m obsessed with planning. Retirement savings, homeownership, investments, these are the holy grails of adulthood. For my girlfriend, the future feels abstract.

“Why stress about retirement when the world might be underwater by then?” she quipped one day. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Its always YOLO for her (You Only Live Once).

For Gen Z, the focus is on the now. They’d rather spend on experiences, travel, festivals, spontaneous road trips, than worry about a mortgage. This “live in the moment” mindset can be refreshing, but it also makes long-term planning feel like an uphill battle.

Money as a Reflection of Values

At its core, this isn’t just about money. It’s about values. For millennials like me, financial responsibility equals love and respect. Saving for a rainy day isn’t just smart; it’s a way of saying, “I care about our future.”

For Gen Z, experiences trump material things. A surprise trip means more to them than a fully-funded emergency fund. This difference in values can lead to misunderstandings, but it can also create opportunities for growth.

Bridging the Gap: Strategies for Financial Harmony

So, how do you make it work when your financial philosophies clash? Here are three strategies that have helped my girlfriend and me navigate the chaos:

1. Communicate Openly, Even When It’s Awkward

Money is one of those topics no one likes to discuss, but it’s the one thing you must. My girlfriend and I have learned to lay everything out, income, expenses, debt, and financial goals. Sure, it’s uncomfortable at first, but it’s also liberating. Transparency creates trust, even if it’s painful in the moment.

2. Compromise on Spending Styles

We’ve developed a system that works for us. She has a discretionary “fun fund” that I don’t question, and I get to squirrel away money in savings without her rolling her eyes. It’s all about meeting halfway.

3. Define Roles, Not Rules

Instead of rigidly splitting expenses, we’ve assigned roles based on our strengths. I handle long-term financial planning, investments, savings goals, and the like. She manages day-to-day spending, tracking our shared expenses. This division of labor reduces friction and lets each of us play to our strengths.

Lessons Learned

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that financial harmony isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It’s about respect, respect for each other’s experiences, habits, and dreams.

Yes, I think her shopping sprees are excessive, and she thinks my obsession with savings is overkill. But at the end of the day, we’re building something together. Our differences, as frustrating as they can be, push us to grow.

She’s taught me to loosen up, enjoy the moment, and let go of my financial anxieties. I’ve shown her the value of planning and stability. It’s not perfect, no relationship ever is. But with patience, compromise, and a little humor, we’re figuring it out.

Parting Shot

So here’s my advice to any millennial dating a Gen Z: Lean into the chaos. Embrace the arguments about budgeting apps versus spreadsheets. Laugh at the generational quirks, and learn from each other.

Because at the end of the day, money isn’t just numbers on a screen. It’s a reflection of who we are, what we value, and how we navigate the messy, beautiful world of love and life.

And who knows? Maybe that Sh348.50 argument will become a funny story you tell years down the road, proof that love, like money, is all about finding the right balance.